Amityville Slugger

The Graham Williams era of Doctor Who was not a favourite of mine. He threw a few curve balls (Invisible Enemy), some odd balls (Underworld) and too many downright dodgy balls (most of Season 17) for my liking and it's those that chiefly colour my memory of his stint as producer. In short, to seriously mix my baseball metaphors, a poor batting average. But just occasionally - to mix my baseball metaphors - he'd step up to the plate and seriously up his batting average with something like The Horror Of Fang Rock - as fine an example of quintessential Who as you're ever likely to encounter. Now, possibly that one met with my hearty approval because, frankly, it all feels a bit more Hinchcliffe than Williams - and Image Of The Fendahl is similar in that respect.

It has that 'something borrowed' feeling of familiarity to it as well as producing something new, but unlike much of the Hinchcliffe era its sources are not immediately obvious (to me anyway).

On some level, it's as though someone found an old recipe for Doctor Who and did their best to follow it to the letter, tossing in fairly creative substitutes where certain ingredients were unavailable. The exact measures are lost in time, but basically you'll need some fog, an old priory, a mad professor, a coven, death, more death, a glowing skull, banks of old computers and a sprinkling of pseudoscience, a dash of Time Lord mythology, race memory, giant alien slugs and, crucially, a pinch of salt. Heck, with its occult elements, ancient long-buried evils that have influenced mankind's development, themes of race memory and gestalt creatures, they may have just thrown The Daemons and The Ark In Space in a blender and hoped for the best.

But that assessment does a disservice to Chris Boucher, a Who writer I rate, and he manages to enliven the mixture with flashes of inspired dialogue and a (mostly) colourful selection of characters (helped along by some larger than life performances). The night filming certainly doesn't do any harm to the Gothic horror atmosphere either.

Now I love Ark In Space, but Fendahl even manages to score over that in the horror stakes, both because it's not set in a brightly lit space station and the idea of someone finding themselves absorbed into an alien gestalt is more effective here. Ark boasts its memorable shocks in that respect and explores the notion more fully, but Noah is portrayed in such a stylised, starchy way it distances us somewhat from the character, whereas I found more sympathy with Thea Ransome's fate here.

In a mailing list discussion, it was pointed out to me that a heterosexual male will generally be more sympathetic to the fate of a pretty female - and it's true to say I was always very concerned from a very young age for Sarah Jane's safety. And I think Thea is further painted as a victim by virtue of the patronising sexism to which she is subjected by her colleagues. Doubtless Wanda Ventham was used to it from her fellow officers in SHADO, but ultimately I'd rather be forced to wear a purple wig than end up transformed into a golden medusa. YMMV, as they say.

As to the others, it's a little disconcerting at first to hear Charles from Survivors speaking with a faux Germanic accent, but Dennis Lill lends intensity and credibility to what would otherwise be a standard mad professor shtick. Edward Arthur's got an entertaining line in sarcasm as Colby, even if some of his lines are misfires, and Scott Fredericks as Stael is so positively inhuman, with his cold smarm-school manners, it comes as a shock that I actually felt anything for him when he meets his ultimate fate. Daphne Heard seems over the top as the Worzelly white witch - but I suspect that has something to do with most West Country accents on TV sounding dubious to my Cornish ears - and she's undoubtedly a wonderful character - or caricature, I can't quite decide.

Tom is appropriately dark and sombre (a la Fang Rock), but with enough levity along the way to (just about) offset that truly chilling moment when he fetches Max the gun from the altar. Surely one of the coldest moments in Who. Against that, we have the warmth of Louise Jameson who shines as Leela and although that's about par for the course, we mustn't underestimate the incongruity of her savage ways in the contemporary world setting, to say nothing of her first encounter with cows.

The Fendahleen (aka giant alien slugs) themselves are a great design. The addition of those cobra-like wings was apparently implemented to avoid a phallic appearance, but whatever the reason, it completes their alien appearance rather well. They're somewhat wanting in the execution, with their rather impotent shambling, but they're by no means the worst in that department to have graced our screens in Who.

Storywise, I would have liked more clues sown earlier about the coven/witchcraft angle and it turns out there were some, at least according to the deleted scenes (Ted invokes some prayer to a strange occultish pendant). The ending seems a little rushed and there's a two-level threat which really only works on one level. The large-scale 'all-Earth will be consumed by Death' threat is rather too abstract - a bit like Sutekh (Pyramids Of Mars), in that we are given dire warnings about it and, courtesy of a side-trip to the Fifth Planet, given some indication of Earth's possible future. told about it and unfortunately the isolated setting plays against the Fendahl. More effective is immediate, localised threat, with characters prey to the big alien slugs so terrifying they can root even the Doctor to the spot in fear.

All in all then, a good solid Who story and one of the better deliveries in the Williams innings, but not as enduringly memorable as Fang Rock. Perhaps, in the end, it's just too much of an all-rounder when what was needed was to hit the ball out of the park. Not quite a home run then, but it does cover all the bases.

Virtual Master Piece

Doctor Who fans are funny creatures. Apparently The Deadly Assassin was poorly received at the time of broadcast, and yet for me at the tender age of seven it was an instant hit and pretty much the standard by which all other Gallifrey stories came to be measured. It's a common enough effect and by and large boils down to a question of age: i.e. which 'era' of the show played a significant part in your formative years. We'll call it the regeneration gap.

A fan interviewed for the documentary in the extras bemoans the fact that a Time Lord complaining about his dodgy hip, for instance, conflicts with previous on-screen evidence (such as it was) of the Doctor's people. Which is fair enough, except to me it seems to overlook the example of the First Doctor, whose doddery old frame was increasingly on the point of failing its MOT before he finally regenerated. Added to which, prior portrayals of the illustrious Time Lords skimped on detail and I rather suspect that the fan's chief complaint pertains to the lifting of that shroud of mystery that still, at that point, lay draped over the Gallifreyans like a dust sheet.

Here, Robert Holmes dares to whip off that sheet, shake off some of the dust and reveals a lot of old relics. But they're interesting relics, I find - the sort that would keep you watching Antiques Roadshow. What he does is invest the Time Lords - the people and their society - with character. And yes, it humanises them to a great extent and in a sense reduces them to our level, but at the same time, for me, it enriches them.

Holmes is famous for his deft flourishes, like the casual reference to the Filipino army and Reykjavik in the later Talons Of Weng Chiang, which manages to fire the imagination with a vision of an unusual and intriguing future. And there's a similar effect at work here, with references to Rassilon, Gallifreyan mythology and the Doctor's own past, all of which to my mind help refuel the mystery. And there's colour, figurative and literal - the green of the Arcalians, scarlet and gold of the Prydonians, the heliotrope of the Patrexes - that immediately set this young imagination running, thinking about the bigger picture of Gallifrey and its inhabitants and so many other story strands that (at the risk of stating it too colourfully) coursed like veins through my child's eye view of the Who universe.

Hence, rewatching it now it's difficult to set aside that perspective and a great deal of what I admired about it then still pushes the creative buttons. I guess there's a very thin line between the writer in me and the child in me.

It has its flaws - of course it does, it's Doctor Who. And it wears them on its big capacious Time Lord robe sleeves. There's the big rubber spider, for instance, dangling on a length of fishing wire that we can only assume is the result of a bug - ha - in the otherwise super-sophisticated virtual world of the APC Net. And I can see where some would have a problem that, ultimately, it all concludes with nothing more than a wrestling match between the Doctor and the Master above a gaping hole.

But as well as a sci-fi rendition of The Manchurian Candidate, this is surely paying homage to The Final Problem, with the Doctor facing his own Moriarty over the Gallifreyan version of the Reichenbach Falls. There are definite echoes of the way (Sherlock) Holmes speaks of his archenemy in the way the Doctor describes the Master to his Time Lord 'allies'. And we have Goth as the Colonel Moran figure, armed with a rifle and stalking the Doctor through an electronic Switzerland. And even if the local setting is considerably less scenic, by naming it the Eye Of Harmony, the story manages to elevate it above a mere hole in the ground.

Likewise, the production design and direction do a lot to invest the studiobound sections with a sense of majesty and scale. The high vaults of the Panopticon are perhaps not as high to adult eyes as they were to a young lad's, but the effort and the intention still make their mark. The design of the decaying Master is well realised and strikes the perfect note of horror in the shadowed surroundings - those skull-like features one of those truly enduring images from my childhood viewing, it must be said, and, combined with Peter Pratt's coldly venomous portrayal, still managing to evoke a chill.

Of the other Time Lords, Co-Ordinator Engin (who is far from Fearsum) and Castellan Spandrell are the comedy double act, but manage to be more than just that and we're glad to see them - like Jago and Litefoot in Weng Chiang - survive to the end. And then, of course, there is Bernard Horsfall, who has all the power and presence we'd expect from someone who calls themselves a Time Lord. He's also ultimately a sympathetic character, a victim of the Master and his own political ambition, and we're kind of glad to know his role in the crisis will be painted in a different light when his fellow Time Lords attempt to rewrite history with their own friendlier version of events. (And between him and Spandrell, we have all the evidence we need that Time Lords can have a wide range of Terran accents - or, as New Who might put it, every planet has a Yorkshire and a Rhine Valley.) He's a formidable foe too, as the Hunter, within the otherworld of the Matrix, his face a sinister shadow behind that mosquito netting - even when you know his true identity.

He's brutal and sadistic. And the Doctor stoops to what might be seen as some fairly questionable methods himself - traps rigged with hand grenades, poisoned darts. It's easy to see why even the production team wondered if they might have gone too far. But speaking as one of the innocent children who was corrupted by such horrific images, it did me no harm. That dark edge is what helped etch this story so indelibly on my imagination and nowadays of course I can properly appreciate the contrast between the depiction of an advanced technological society (albeit in decline) and the desperate, bare-knuckle battle-of-wits struggle for survival that all takes place inside, of all things, a super computer.

Plot-wise, in some respects, that virtual battle does put the real-world action on hold for an entire episode and you could even dismiss it as padding, but that amplified panotropic realm is such a fantastic creation and characterises the story as much as all the shadowy vaults and catacombs of the Gallifreyan Citadel itself. Not that I would have been conscious of its significance at the time, but what we're treated to here is an early dose of virtual reality - long before Keanu Reeves agonised over whether to take the red pill or the blue one. And although the budget is undoubtedly limited, the location work - along with the aforementioned set design - is a sign of a Who adventure that is pushing the financial boat out. And it pays off because for the most part, it impresses. Although that is in part down to the startling mix of imagery - Samurai warrior, clown, biplane, operating table and gas masked soldier and horse (can't go wrong with gas masks, folks), to name a selection - assembled to create this very Doctor Who-ish brand of surreality.

Shades of brilliance, I think, best sums up my overall impressions of this story and I think it stands up well. So the Time Lords are not quite the all-powerful beings we were once led to believe and are in fact a bunch of crusty old fogies with foibles and frailties like the rest of us. I can see where that might amount to a disappointing revelation for some, but I think above all it lends them character which they had, up to that point, been lacking. Sure, they could have - and possibly should have - been more alien, but much of the story relies on the very human politics to make it work.

And now that it has passed into official Who mythology, with the added factor of hindsight, its effectiveness can also be measured in terms of what followed and what subsequent writers made of it. If memory serves (and I've yet to rewatch that one), The Invasion Of Time does a good job of taking one of Assassin's casual throwaway references - to Shobogans - and turning it into an exploration of another facet of Gallifreyan society. But (again, if memory serves) falls down in other areas. (But I'll get to watch that one soon and be standing by to amend my impressions as and when.)

In some respects, The Deadly Assassin is like Genesis Of The Daleks. Yes, it lifts several lids on a mysterious past perhaps wished had been left unlifted and yes, perhaps in some ways it lessens the Time Lords - in the way that some felt Genesis lessened the Daleks. And as with the Daleks, later Gallifrey stories, in my humble, do a good job of illustrating the law of diminishing returns. But it's all, as I said at the outset, a matter of perspective.

Probably, if I'd been seven or eight when Arc Of Infinity came along, I'd be condemning The Deadly Assassin as the affront to all things Gallifreyan that (apparently) some fans considered it at the time. As it is, it remains in my mind - and I say this fully aware that some fans object to the term - a classic.

More Merling

Or, perhaps, Moreling? Perhaps not.

Either way, it seems I sufficiently impressed the powers that be at Random House Children's Books to land myself more work in this series of novelisations for the BBC's Merlin.

We writers have to earn our bread somehow, and if this keeps up I may even be able to stretch to a French loaf. Of course, I'm not at liberty to say anything more about future books at this stage, but in the meantime, the first book in the series, The Dragon's Call, due for release this September, is available for pre-order on Amazon. As is my other contribution so far, The Poisoned Chalice, due for release in November.

Obviously, the thing to do is to buy them and impress upon the publishing world that folks will buy books just because Simon Forward had a hand in writing them. :-)

Merling

When an author with a number of Doctor Who credits to his name says he's been busy on some new commissions for a Saturday night TV show, some Doctor Who readers might jump to certain conclusions. So I had best cut to the chase and just say, I'm pleased to announce that I've recently been writing not just one, but two novelisations for another Saturday night TV series entirely - the BBC's Merlin series. Thanks to the executive producers of the show who approved of my initial writing sample and gave me this opportunity.

It's my first foray into the world of the novelisation and it's renewed my respect and admiration for Terrance Dicks and all the work he did on those Target Doctor Who novelisations that were such a staple of my childhood reading. Back then, it was a case of filling in for the absence of video or any means of rewatching a favourite show. In this age of DVDs, it's quite a challenge to invest the story with extra elements and insights so that the book compliments what's on screen and offers an alternative to simply viewing the episode. I've been so busy in the past few months on these that I've even invented a new verb for it: Merling. And the experience has also afforded me the opportunity to work with some very lovely people at Random House, which has been great.

The first book, Merlin: The Dragon's Call is scheduled for release in September this year, timed to coincide with the return of the show to our screens. Book 4, Merlin: The Poisoned Chalice, my second book in the series, is due to follow a month later, in October. Watch this space for more news and of course I'll be adding links to the Amazon listings for both books as and when available.

God's Plan, Men Laugh?

By which I mean, you only have to mention God and Angels in these irreligious times of ours and a great many people will just find it all a bit silly. Both have featured heavily throughout the four (or some would say five) season lifespan of Battlestar Galactica, a sci-fi series that by its nature and tone looks to its audience to take it seriously. And I think when it comes to the conclusion of this epic journey, with all the compelling questions and mysteries raised along the way, we tend to look for a serious science fiction answer.

And I'm glad to say, from what I saw, it delivered. Mostly.

Hopefully anyone who hasn't seen the series finale yet will have looked away and pointed their browsers elsewhere by now. If not, do so now. A spoiler free review would be nice, but basically would amount to me summing it up – as I did on a mailing list at the weekend – as a 'qualified awesome'. Or words to that effect. And fair to say, it seems like ages since I blogged about any TV and as such I feel I ought to say a bit more. So, this one very much contains SPOILERS.



Now, declaration of interest: I love this show and so you can expect a degree of bias in anything I have to say on the subject. But at the same time, with a greater enthusiasm and emotional investment in the characters and the unfolding storyline, there are greater expectations riding on the resolution and greater potential risk of disappointment. So when it came to sitting down to watch the finale, it was with mixed feelings – anticipation (ooh exciting) and tension (please please don't let us down) and, not least, the firm and certain knowledge that we were all going to be left depressed that this terrific series was soon to be over.

At least with this one, it wasn't being canned before its time like a number of other favourites of mine (Firefly, Carnivale, Deadwood, for example). And it was effectively being given the full 3-parter treatment without the torture of having to wait an extra week. But even with the 3-episode runtime to play with, there was a perhaps inevitable impression of too many questions left unanswered and not enough time to cover them all and wrap up the storylines for the main characters satisfactorily.

When the series returned after its hiatus and that incredible scene of everyone, Cylon and human alike, standing on a devastated Earth, it did so with a good balance of oh-my-god revelations and ooh-that's-interesting reveals, and with a crisis in the fleet that (finally) addressed Gaeta's issues with having been tried and nearly executed by people who turned out to be Cylons. (Something my good friend Stuart and I had been hoping for.) It was during that edge-of-the seat stuff that we discovered Galactica's ailing condition. The fact that the two ladies in Bill Adama's life were both riddled with cancer provides a potent emotional core through the rest of the series and – especially if you, like me, happen to love the character of Laura Roslin and the 'old girl' Galactica herself – you'd really have to be some sort of toaster not to feel Adama's pain. And – not for the first time - Edward James Olmos breaks down brilliantly.

(And by the way, if I ever have to serve on a starship, I'm not saying I'd want to do so in the BSG universe when the remnants of humanity are on the run from Cylon persecution, but please, just make sure Adama's in command and not that useless lardboy, Kirk, or indeed any of the wet-blanket Starfleet brigade.)

In some respects it's unfortunate that it also vividly paints for us the general shape of the finale. Or a key part of it anyway. Because as horrible as it is to watch the Galactica being cleared out and 'closed down' like a high street store in the depths of the credit crunch, we know they're not going to let her go out like that. We know she's going to go out in a blaze of glory.

Events then are steering towards that and although Boomer's abduction of Hera is an effective enough shock moment, we are primed and prepped for a finale that has to centre around a rescue mission and a confrontation between Galactica and the Cylon colony. In that sense, it is not going to surprise us, so we merely have to trust that it will amaze – and be wrapped in that all-important satisfactory resolution.

We have by this stage already learned the identity of the last Cylon. And I'll admit to a measure of disappointment on that score – if only because Ellen Tigh was not my favourite character, so the idea of her coming back did not fill me with excitement. Still, in her defence I will say she returned as a different person – transformed, if not reformed. We learn a great deal about the nature of the Final Five, their background, their prior existence on Earth. My main gripe about that is that the majority of this reveal is dished out in a lot of tell, rather than show. So what you have are a lot of satisfactory answers delivered in an unsatisfying way – a large proportion of them served up by Sam, another of my least favourite characters, before he totally succumbs to data-delirium and rambles incoherently in a campaign to out-cryptic Babylon 5's Ambassador Kosh. However, the character's ultimate conversion into a Cylon hybrid is a fitting and satisfying twist.

At the same time, much focus is – rightly – given to the question of who or what is Kara Thrace? It consumes her and it's no coincidence that we'd very much like to know too. The episode where she cracks the musical code, coached along by the 'ghost' of her father was an interesting one that raised further questions about her nature. Couple that with the chillingly memorable image of her finding and torching her own corpse on Earth and you pretty much have the definition of a burning question right there.

These are just some of the ways in which the hook is baited. There are a lot of other threads and factors to be considered and tied up, and key ones for me included Gaius' religious experiences and where they were ultimately taking him, and what role Caprica – both the real one and the one in his head – was to play in that. Boomer and Athena, of course, and the significance of Hera. When you have that many fish to land, there are bound to be a few catches, so as with anything you're attempting to review it all boils down to how you measure its flaws against the positives. And the feeling, on balance, you're left with at the end.

So where, in my view, did it fall down and where did it succeed?

Falls, just for a change, can come before pride. A very minor issue, but I wasn't convinced by Cavil's suicide. It seemed a little too convenient and ran counter to a character who, I'd imagined, would want to take down as many as possible with him when everything was going to hell in a handbasket. It's something that gave me pause to question in the midst of an otherwise truly awesome moment (see later). Then there's Hera, whose importance seems to have been more symbolic than actual. Maybe it's just that she is the first one, when she grows up, to mate with a Neanderthal and (as Eve) mother a new race, priming us with her half-Cylon DNA and that imperative to fashion machines in our own image. But I think I expected something of her nature to play a key role in the resolution, rather than just have her serve as Cavil's hostage. Still, most disappointing by a Caprican mile has to be the 'answer' to the question of Kara Thrace – which seems to be “take your best guess”. Well, okay, I can only assume she's an angel in this scenario – but with the key difference that she can be seen by everybody, and that she came back with her very own 'sweet chariot' – her miraculously remade Viper - coming for to carry everyone home. She might even be the Saviour figure, died and resurrected. But more than left guessing, I did feel we were left begging, rather. I liked the character a lot and I think both she and we deserved more. Probably those who couldn't stand the character will be even more miffed.

However, her final scene and departure, leaving Lee alone, does spare us the possibility of these two ending up together. That would have been wrong.
And so to other things that weren't wrong. In fact, things that were, to my mind, very right indeed.

On a purely superficial level, the battle – as expected as it was – was massively impressive. A great many boats were pushed out on this one and the colony's position amid all that cloud and tumbling rocks made for a busier and more colourful space battle than we're accustomed to – all with some nice sharp cutting between that and the bloody gun battles on board the colony and Galactica. Blaze. Of. Glory.

And even if it all accelerated to the fairly unoriginal hostage situation, what followed was (as I think I mentioned before) truly awesome. Gaius, of all people, is the peace broker and an agreement is reached. Then as the Five mind-meld to provide Cavil with the gift of resurrection, Tory sweats – and Galen flips. One act of revenge and all hell breaks loose. Not only awesome, but key to what we learn subsequently.

The rest is (Kara Thrace aside) as neat an exercise in wrapping as you'll find this side of Christmas. There's real tragic beauty in the Roslin/Adama resolution and the Galactica's own death, flying off into the heart of the sun is almost – almost – as emotive as the shutting down and demolition of B5 at the close of that series. The use of the old Battlestar theme was a slight distraction in that part of my attention is briefly given over to recognition, rather than just getting on with crying my eyes out. But the scene does tug at the heart strings and/or give the tear ducts a decent poke.

There's tons more material that demands comment here, but by this stage I'm sure you'll be impatient for me to hurry towards my own finale and I may as well jump to what's likely to be the most contentious aspect of BSG's resolution. Which is, of course, that...

God did it.

God was behind it all. And God, like magic, can be a bit of a cop-out in science fiction. When you have a universe so rooted in gritty 'reality', God is a tough sell. And I can see where a lot of people would have a problem. Myself, I don't think it's nearly sufficient an explanation of the nature of the resurrected Kara Thrace, for example.

That said, for all its grit, BSG was threaded all the way through with mystical happenings and what Han Solo liked to call hocus pocus religion. And I was left in no doubt that this resolution was where they were headed all along. That in itself is a satisfying feeling. The Six in Gaius' head and the Gaius in Six's head were revealed as 'Angels' quite late in proceedings, but even though they are confirmed in that final scene as absolutely real – no figment of anyone's imagination except perhaps God's – it's all a question of interpretation. Like God himself, it's a question of what you call it.

Say, instead of Angels, we call them 'avatars'. Say, instead of God, we call it 'Creation'. Whatever you choose to call these things, whatever your own view of the BSG universe, what you have is a system that is constantly repeating a pattern in search of some 'winning move'. Like Joshua in that movie, Wargames. And I like the idea of that concept applied on a universal scale. The coin is being flipped over and over in the hope that it comes up heads. Trouble is, BSG has always shown us that the coin has more than two sides and the odds are stacked against the desired result.

Then, in the light of that revelation, you reflect back on Galen's actions and you appreciate fully why that is. The pattern had every chance to change – humans and Cylons had many chances along the way to change the pattern. There at that crucial point, revenge destroys that chance. Galen may have been Cylon, but what he does is a very human reaction. He's too good a copy of a human. Even Tigh assures him he would have done the same in his position. And frankly there aren't many characters here who could claim they would have done any different. Athena's answer to Boomer's act of contrition (returning Hera) is to blow her away. Adama, Roslin, they've all had their vengeful moments. There are few people, human or Cylon, who are especially big on forgiveness when it comes to the crunch.

The pattern's doomed to repeat again. Until next time. Or next time. Etc.

Insufficiently explained or no, Starbuck's deliverance of Galactica and – as a result – the rest of humanity to Earth (our Earth), backed up by the Dylan track - “There must be some way out of here...” - is a brilliant TV moment and for my money it illustrates that far from...

God did it

...the message here is that the blame lies squarely with humanity. Us. Whatever you call it, the portrait painted is of a God (or Creation or system) that gives humanity every possible chance, but His creations (i.e. we) keep screwing up. Not a new concept by any means but a message that maybe does bear repeating until we get it.

That's the warning that's implicit in that final scene and for me it was a satisfying footnote to a series that managed to impress, excite and give me plenty of food for thought over the space of five years. A series that also bears repeating, so I'm already looking forward to watching it all through again on DVD. Even if it turns out the same in the end :-)

Authonomore

So, last time I established that, for me, authonomy was very much a case of Been There, Seen It, Done That. Did Not Buy The T-shirt. You get what you can out of it, you move on - no need to commemorate it on an article of clothing, eh. ;-)

But as I stated, I'm going to be leaving samples up on the site as a reasonably accessible showcase for my work. At some point I may go to the trouble of converting them to PDFs to post on my own website, but for the time being they may as well stay put. Even though I'm no longer an active member of the site, I may as well put the account/page to some use.

So, if anyone feels like having a read and finding out what goes on in the imagination of Simon Forward - well, some of what goes on! - these are the places to visit:

Evil UnLtd (TM). The Farce Of The Dark Side. Villains are the heroes in this sci-fi comedy. Enough has been said about this one that I don't suppose I need to expand on that. Give it a whirl - if the comments I received were any gauge, it proved popular with SF and mainstream readers alike. I'm aiming to get back on the metaphorical campaign bus, searching for a publisher for this one and in the meantime have begun work on Vol 2 in the series.

Then, of course, there's Kip Doodle And The Armchair Of Lost Dreams. Kip Doodle's been trapped in his latest cliffhanger for too long. Now he's breaking out of his felt-tip world and into Ty Lewis' life. Anyone who's read this blog will know about Kip Doodle (TM), but for those who don't, it's an action adventure fantasy series for kids of 8+ - and a fair number of grown-ups too. Haven't actually started work on any further episodes yet, but I've drafted plots for another two books in the series and ideas for others are popping into my head all the time.

Then we have Tortenschloss. Gormenghast with multi-coloured frosting, a cherry on top and dark sprinkles. A Young Adult fantasy adventure, this is intended as the first book in a trilogy. The two subsequent books have been plotted with broad strokes and as with Kip, it's just a case of my preferred approach to work on some projects: this book evolved fluidly in the writing process and I'm keen to allow that to happen with the others in the series.

HEAVENSEND. The Four Horsemen are coming. Who will be the Four to stand against them? Another trilogy in the making, but this one definitely in the adult sf/fantasy - and even horror - market. I do need to continue with this series, but I also need to wait until the return to the chillier, greyer months as it's that sort of atmosphere I like to tap into for the characters and situations involved. And of course, none of us are in any hurry to get back to winter now that we're enjoying a spot of sunshine. So I and the characters of Heavensend will just have to be patient!

Ice Cold In Alex's. How far must a man go, to what depths must he sink, to protect paradise? A stab at a more literary form of SF, this is just one of those stories I have to write, irrespective of market considerations or whatever. As such, it's one of the first to take a back seat whenever I have paid work on, but I will finish it one day! Its themes of morality, love, hatred and idealism are just some of those things I feel compelled to explore.

WILD.Mama Nature has a bone to pick with Mankind. To save humanity, the world turns to a man called Wild. Coincidence? Maybe not. Adult SF/fantasy/horror, but different again to Heavensend. Although there are some connections, not least in terms of the featured background world/universe. A long time before authonomy was even a twinkle in the eye of Harper Collins, this actually received a decent spot of feedback from HC's Voyager imprint - one of those "You can clearly write, but it's a question of the market" style receptions. Which I took as highly encouraging at the time.

Industrial Waste.A Neuromance. SF/fantasy, again connected with the backdrop featured in Wild and Heavensend, and different again. This was the second novel I ever completed, so it's quite old now, but like Wild, it received a similar sort of praise in its 'rejection' from a top SF agent. Well-written, but a bit too Cyberpunk - at a time when Cyberpunk had had its day, or words to that effect.

Like all the samples on offer, it's not present for any of the old authonomy vote chasing, purely for your reading pleasure. And maybe a measure of frustration inherent in reading a sample and, all being well, getting to the end and wanting more. It's also worth noting that a number of the pitches/blurbs were done in a hurry for the sake of a quick upload, so those are by no means the polished article that you'd expect to see on a book cover, or even in a submission. For that - and any frustration! ;-) - I apologise in advance, but nevertheless if you do try a taster of any of these, I hope you enjoy. Comments are welcome here or on the site and I may upload further samples at some point or, as is more likely, eventually transfer samples to my own website.

Meanwhile, fingers crossed there'll be an announcement before too long about further commissioned work. I'd love to tell you now, but for the time being that's all hush hush, so I'd just have to content myself with placing a finger to my lips and going, "Shhhhh." Which wouldn't make for much of a blog post, I admit.

Beware Of The POD People

You know the POD people. They seem to be one thing and then they turn out to be another. Often they're out to steal your identity or your soul or some such.

Take, for example, authonomy, Harper Collins' online community for authors. You'd be forgiven for thinking it was an alternative route towards publication, what with all the enticing slogans dotted around the site: "We're More Than A Community Of Book Lovers, We're on a mission to flush out the brightest, freshest new talent around." "Beat The Slush." "Can You Make It On Screen?" And, most deceiving of all, pasted right above the Editor's Desk chart, "Publishing Contract Anyone?"

Whereas the truth of the situation is much more like Invasion Of The Body Snatchers where, when you are spotted as a talent, they point at you and scream. Proclaiming you an outsider and making sure you stay that way.

As the only author to date to have two separate books reach the Top 5, within the space of two months, I hope I might be forgiven for thinking my books had something special going for them. The first, Evil UnLtd (TM) was declared by Harper Collins themselves to be excellent but, as a science fiction comedy, sadly lacking a viable market. (Hello?) The second, Kip Doodle (TM), was a fantasy adventure for kids.

Many agents described it in positive terms, using words like "colourful", "imaginative" and "well-written". The only publisher to see it so far, Harper Collins, didn't believe young readers would find its central hook sufficiently fascinating. Kids - and adults - who have read it thus far have loved it. Some of the people in this loop appear to be a little out of touch.

It's clear that they pay no attention to the feedback left by authors and readers on each book. They are, I imagine, dismissive of those comments because the nature of the peer-based system does mean that a proportion of the critiques given will inevitably be self-motivated. There will be self-motivated positivity, angling for some reciprocal rave reviews, and there will be self-motivated negativity, from jealous, twisted individuals. But someone at HC devised the system, so you'd think they'd give it some credit. And to be honest, it's actually fairly easy to spot the crits that are borne of some ulterior motives. Among those that are the most transparent are the much sought-after crits that come from the HC editors each month. Their primary motive being, as far as I can gather, 'We'd really rather not publish anything off this site, least of all the really popular books.'

Not for the first time, I'm forced to wonder, what the heck is going on with the publishing industry? Which may be a little unfair. After all, just because Harper Collins are such a major player, should we consider them representative of the industry as a whole? Naturally, in the light of their 'verdicts' and the increasingly questionable worth of authonomy, I'd prefer to think otherwise.

Whatever their advertised claims about the nature of authonomy, unlike any Ronseal product you'd care to name, it's not what it says on the tin. The clue, in fact, is in the name. Authonomy = autonomy for authors. What they would like is to break into the POD business. As authors who have submitted our works to the sorry process, we know this because many of us have been approached by email with a 'special offer', inviting us to self-publish with HC's partners, Blurb, and help establish an authonomy shop, where visitors to the site might be able to buy our books.

Great, you might think, as a means of getting our books out there to the reading public. But no. Not when a paperback is costed at approximately £10 - before any profit to the author is factored in. How is an author expected to compete in that market, even if the quality of the book is better than many of those being produced commercially? To say nothing of the questionable quality control, where the apparent policy is, it's not good enough for us (despite being considered "excellent", for example), but it's good enough for POD.

Or, to put it another way, 'We'd like to make a bit of money off this book but we'd rather not have to pay the author anything, if that's all right with you.'

The worst aspect of all this though is the underhanded nature of it all. Because, whether the clue is in the name or not, those slogans say nothing about POD.

Those slogans invite the author to believe in some mythical new alternative to the slush pile and they wave a carrot of a *possible* publishing contract in front of the author's nose. A possibility that, it's quite clear now, is entirely non-existent. Indeed, they appear to be operating in accordance with some hidden rule that nothing selected from their precious Top 5 is to be granted any serious consideration. Faced with quality books and sometimes overwhelming evidence of readers' comments (even when weighing in the self-motivation factor), the crits offered appear geared towards finding spurious and often self-contradictory reasons not to publish. It's galling and insulting.

Now, in fairness, the smallprint does say that all that is promised is a crit from a Harper Collins' editor. But stop and contain your excitement for a moment before you go racing off to win yourself this prestigious prize. Because even these illustrious acolades are not always what they are cracked up to be.

Have a read of this one, from the latest batch (scroll down to the gold star and the brown banner that says Harper Collins wrote). The quality or otherwise of the book is immaterial. The crit given is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a professional critique. It may be from a HC editor, but frankly a tea boy could produce a nine-paragraph summary and round it off with a two line 'review'.

Me, much as the HC comments on Kip were short-sighted and self-contradictory, I feel I was quite fortunate in the crits I received for both my 'gold-star' works. But the results, coupled with the 'standard' - if we might call it that - of crits being issued in some cases, does lead me to question the worth of the exercise.

"Beat The Slush", they say. But the authonomy system is only an electronic slush pile, albeit linked with some social networking. 'Bookface', as someone dubbed it shortly after they introduced a messaging facility. Speaking from my experience, it took about a month and half for Evil to reach the attention of a HC editor, and two months later, Kip reached the Editor's Desk. They each received their response a month later. That's reasonably comparable to the timescale for a standard snail-mail submission. Now, the crits - for mine - were more detailed than you'd generally receive, it's true... *but* weigh that against the input of time and effort required in promotion and networking in order to get your book noticed among the thousands on the site.

At least with a snail-mail submission, you can post it off to an agent or publisher and forget about it, get on with something else in the meantime as you await a response. The work goes into fine-tuning the initial submission, then there's nothing more to be done. The submission will reach the editor's or agent's attention sooner or later, but you are free to write, be creative and, who knows, perhaps produce another masterpiece ready for a turn at rejection. ;-) You can even send off multiple submissions. Some agents and publishers frown on that and prefer an exclusive approach - check with the agents and publishers in question - but it is an option. Of course you can make other approaches while pursuing the pot of gold at the end of the authonomy rainbow, but you'll be lucky to find the time.

So was it all a complete waste of time? Well, no. The opinions and insights of many fellow authors were invaluable and I'm glad to say I made some very dear friends. Indeed if they adorned the site with slogans advertising a chance to meet lots of interesting people, there wouldn't be an issue. What I do regret is the time wasted professionally, when I probably could have written two other books.

So, if you are an author considering uploading your works on authonomy, all I'd say is, proceed with caution. They are POD people. They are not what they claim to be. They are also (for the Doctor Who fans out there) Chronovores. Major time-eaters.

What the site is good for, I have decided, is for showcasing those works which might otherwise be languishing in a cupboard or on the hard drive, gathering dust - actual or virtual. So my advice, think of it in those terms. It is a place to store samples of your work where they might actually be seen by others. Possibly even an industry professional.

That's why I've since uploaded further samples of my works. It's not my intention to chase after any more gold stars, I'm not even promoting those books on the site. But they are there to be seen and sampled and of course all comments are welcome. I'll have details and links in my next blog for each of the books I currently have uploaded on the site.

As for authonomy, I suspect it's the pet that the Harper Collins family didn't want. But their digital-age kids insisted on getting one and now they're saddled with its upkeep and obliged to feed it five crits every month. It's a strange beast. They might tell you it's a dog or a cat, but whatever they claim it to be, it is more likely a hamster running pointlessly around its exercise wheel and limited to thinking very much inside its box.

And the next time you see the words "Publishing Contract Anyone?" make sure it's on a product manufactured by Ronseal and not Harper Collins.

KIPPY NEW YEAR!

Let me begin by wishing everyone a very Happy New Year and great things for 2009!

It's early in the year yet, but my 2009 has started off well already. Over on authonomy, my kids' book Kip Doodle And The Armchair Of Lost Dreams was firmly in the Top 5 as the clocks counted down the seconds to the New Year. So I had two reasons to quaff my champagne as we moved into 2009 - and with Kip Doodle at No.2 for December's book chart, that made yours truly the FIRST EVER AUTHOR to have TWO books successfully hit the Harper Collins' Editor's Desk and win those highly coveted Gold Stars.

Remains to be seen whether anything more than a Gold Star will come of it - the Harper Collins crits tend to follow nearly a month on from the selection being made. Right now though, whatever Harper Collins ultimately say, it's a pretty good feeling.

Many people who commented online felt that if Harper Collins were to pick up one book, Kip Doodle would be the one. The kids who have read it have loved it. But it's up to the editors now, not the kids!

Practically all Kip's supporters felt that the fact that two of my books had made it to the Editor's Desk - in the space of two months - was a mark of my talent and imagination. For which, thank you. But for me, what it is, is a mark of all that brilliant support from far too many people to name. For which, a HUGE thank you!

So I guess the message here is to watch this space for news in about a month's time. Meanwhile, let me just finish by wishing everyone a very Happy New Year and, at the risk of repeating myself, all great things for 2009!

I'll drink to that. Go, Kip, go!

The Why Factor

It's true, I have watched The X Factor in previous years, but only as a means of killing some time on a dull Saturday night back when I was sad and lonely and unmarried. And I've knocked it along with millions of others and been dubious about the popufactured products that emerge from its 'dream factory' every year.

And if Simon Cowell ever wonders why people knock the show and are wholly sceptical about whether it's the best way to seek out singing talent, well, he only needs look at Eggnham and his sub-High School uberbland karaoke tat that somehow made it through to Saturday's Final. The wee Thunderbirds puppet had a fairly smooth ride in the face of some actual singers, surely in part because of the judges remarkable talent for studiously avoiding giving the deluded boy any critique while picking holes in the performances of far stronger contestants. Oh and the fact that every time he appeared on stage, his weedy little voice was duly accompanied (reinforced? mercifully drowned out? you decide) by a 400-strong choir or some helpfully loud music.

So much for the cynical side, but it's there because it's acts like that, making it through against the odds and coming so close to threatening our airwaves and 'music scene', that represent the worst of the X Factory.

Thank God then that, when it came down to the Final, despite a torrent of votes from High School Musical's legions of fans and the entire of the Tracy family (even the one who was permanently posted to the space station), he went out in the first round and the show was given over to a duel between two acts in a different class.

Thank God mostly though for Alexandra Burke. Frankly, if the series was truly a talent contest, this young lady would have won it back in Week One. Awesome singing voice and fantastic, mature (well, okay, apart from when she was breaking down and blubbing - but the poor lass was emotional, bless her)stage presence from a very early stage - and she just got better and better. Highlight of the night had to be her duet with Beyonce - in which she somehow managed to hold her own *and* be utterly in awe of her singing heroine.

JLS finally overcame some ropey song choices in the run-up shows and shone through, but Alexandra was still in another class again. Talent actually won out in the talent contest. Which is a huge result and I'll happily buy the lady's record.

The question left in my mind was why I'd become so invested in the show and the outcome this time. Looking back I think it had something to do with the fact that there really were some stars in the mix this time round, whereas I don't think I'd ever been convinced before.

More than that though, it has to come down to identifying with these people chasing their dreams. It's what I do, all the time, with my writing and pie in the sky ambitions in the publishing world. But also, this year, in Alexandra you had a genuinely inspirational story. Young girl gets turned down, dreams crushed - regular feature of any writer's world! ;-) - and then she comes back three years later to not only attain her life's dream but to totally own that stage.

Well done, girl. You got my vote.

And I'm going to remember that every time I get a rejection letter from some agent :-)

One Blog Is Not Enough

I do ramble on here, don't I. Well, if that wasn't enough, I've now gone and set up another blog, exclusively for creative endeavours or efforts, if you will. You can read my ostensibly more artistic ramblings over at 4dprefect's Blog.

We started with quite an old little piece of mine, called The Dancer, and now, since it's the festive season and all, I've added an Evil UnLtd (TM) Christmas story, to the tune of O Little Town Of Bethlehem.

Enjoy. Sing along, if you like. Nobody's listening, honest!

Kip Doodle Flying High

Gone are the days when I used to just ramble on about the latest TV I'd watched. Yes, it's all been about authonomy lately, hasn't it. Well, don't worry, it's only until the end of this month.

Following the Harper Collins crit on Evil UnLtd and inspired by the very popular initial responses, I've been on something of a mission to see a second book of mine reach the dizzy heights of the Editor's Desk.

Kip Doodle And The Armchair Of Lost Dreams is a fantasy action adventure for kids of aged 8+ - and I'm happy to say plenty of adults have been enjoying it too.

Not least of whom was Eoin Colfer, author of the well loved Artemis Fowl books and the upcoming sixth book in the Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy series, who very kindly took a look at the sample chapters over at the site and had the following to say:

"the book reads great- a very strong idea- good pace too and sparkling characters- best of luck with it."

What a top fellow and a gentleman for replying to my humble email. Thanks, Eoin.

There have been other rousing recommendations and comments on the book, including reports of the very young readers the book - or should I say series, because it is intended as one - is aimed at.

So, Kip is flying high. And he's cleared for landing on that Editor's Desk. We're due to land by the 31st December. Which would make for a very Happy New Year, for sure. After which it will be just a matter of taxiing to the terminal building and maybe, when Harper Collins get a look at this quality commercial kids' book, he can make himself comfortable in the arrivals lounge.

No Market For Sci Fi Comedy

Regular readers of this blog will be familiar with the above logo. But if anyone's tired of seeing it, have pity on the rest of the world. Before long Evil UnLtd will be taking over the globe.

Alas, not with any help from Harper Collins.

After the book rocketed to the top last month, this is what the assigned editor had to say about it:

"Evil UnLtd is well-written, sharp, witty, and absolutely succeeds in transporting the reader to a curious and lush unknown world. The book avoids much of the self-importance that ruins a lot of science-fiction, and I found your ‘Dr. Evil’ antagonist Dexter Snide and his bumbling antics to be refreshingly comic.

The plot is strong and coupled with your very accessible and extremely clean prose the reader is quickly pulled along by your story. That said, there are definitely things you could improve. It sometimes moves a little too fast...take care with this kind of small issue if you want your writing to be perfect.

I definitely enjoyed the way that you use the (supposed) antagonist’s point of view as the main voice of the narrative and made the story of Rolph Stengun – the more classic kind of protagonist – of secondary importance. I found that device unexpected and interesting, and it’s exactly this kind of hook that will make your book stand out to a reader, professional or otherwise.

It’s clear that you’ve written a well paced, witty, well-constructed book. But, for me at least, there’s still one central concern – you need to write with a market in mind. On the one hand, science fiction is actually a very small and targeted niche, and general readers, even those who love comedy, are unlikely to pick up a book in this genre. And on the other hand, I worry that your humor and your farcical tone might also alienate the core science fiction readership who would indeed give it a go. Yes, there are some very popular writers who’ve had success with this kind of book – Douglas Adams, of course, and to a lesser extent Terry Pratchett (though his fantasy world is more accessible to general readers than a sci-fi setting) – but these are notable exceptions, definitely not rules. As a publisher I worry that the market for this would be too small to make it a viable proposal for me.

Hope this input is helpful - thank you for sharing this with us and I wish you the best of luck!"


Naturally enough, there's a lot in there I agree with wholeheartedly. So, let's just examine the other part.

For one thing, they cite Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett as exceptions and not the rule. And it's true, those authors are exceptional. But it strikes me that the publishing industry have appointed those exceptions as 'the rule'. That is, if you're not Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, you're not coming in. So, pray tell, how are other exceptions ever going to break 'the rule'? When the product is - according to their own appraisal - "well-written, sharp, witty, and absolutely succeeds..." etc, doesn't that hint of exception?

It seems to me that all it takes to market a product like that is a bit of vision and imagination. Vision and imagination can't be exclusively the province of the writer, surely? I also have heaps of ideas as to how this particular hot property of mine - this 'franchise', if you like - could be marketed. So surely marketing people have ideas too?

One of the ideas Harper Collins had was to launch a new SF imprint, Angry Robot, due to launch in July of next year. Harper Collins is big, so possibly nobody at Angry Robot is even aware of Evil UnLtd. To me it sounds just their cup of a good source of Brownian motion.

Angry Robot. Whichever marketing person came up with that clearly wanted to suggest SF that rebelled or broke the mould in some way. Good name. But if they're not willing to actually do that with their creative output, then they may as well just call themselves Robot.

Breaking the mould, with this bold new concept - with "this kind of hook that will make your book stand out to a reader, professional or otherwise" - is one of the key things that Evil is about. So if you're listening, Angry Robot, I think we're made for one another.

That aside, obviously the thing to do now is to approach other publishers. Perhaps even consider self-publishing. Time and publishers will tell. Of course, if it comes to the self-publishing option, I'm going to have to consider the marketing side carefully. There's no way I can compete with a major publisher in terms of the level of investment, but of course where I can compete is in ideas. Vision and imagination.

For now, a few points to consider regarding the allegedly non-existent market for sci-fi comedy.

The year is 2008. Doctor Who, following on the tail of shows like Buffy The Vampire Slayer and The X Files and others, has popularised SF/Fantasy to the degree of really broadening its mainstream appeal. Even Torchwood is more popular than it should be. Next year sees a Doctor Who hiatus from our screens. A gap.

Doctor Who books are incredibly popular, as I understand it. Yes, they're designed to appeal to the kids' market, but a) older fans snap them up still and b) where's the light SF adventure for the adults?

2009 sees the release of a sixth Hitch-Hikers book by Eoin Colfer. Clearly the Douglas Adams estate feel there's still a market for SF comedy. Since Douglas Adams is one of the exceptions and the series has a huge cult following, very likely this will sell pretty well. It's an old franchise and has proven its longevity, but what's also very likely is that, no matter how good a job Eoin does, people will be feeling the need for something actually new, fresh and original. Something that they don't have to compare with past glories.

2009, so I've heard, will also see the production of a handful of Red Dwarf TV specials. Again, huge cult following. Again an old franchise. Same applies.

The timing is ripe for Evil UnLtd.

I'll be reducing the uploaded sample on authonomy to the first three chapters, which is what Harper Collins and other publishers look at, but do please take a look for yourselves and comment here. You'll see on the book's page, page after page of comments from readers of all genres - people who don't do Sci-Fi, people who do - attesting to the fact that they loved it, that they would buy the book, that they look forward to having it - along with other books to come in the series - on their actual bookshelves at home. It's my belief you'll find a sci-fi comedy with mainstream appeal, series potential (I'm working on Volume 2 already) and much more besides.

Presumably most of the people who commented on authonomy were writers and therefore more discerning and not representative of the reading public? But let's say for the sake of argument that the appeal is not as mainstream as I've been led to believe by all those different people, all those diverse points of view. Would that even then lead us to believe that there's "No Market For Sci-Fi Comedy"?

I don't think so. What do you think?

Evil UnLtd. Coming to a bookstore near you. We just need to find out when.

Prefect Reads: Lit-Chicks

Last in our series - until next month's batch anyway! - of recommended reads from Harper Collins' authonomy site. And you'll have to forgive the subject header, since these books are so varied that all they have in common is that they are very good, are literary fiction and are written by women.

First up, we have a wonderfully written exploration of the fragility of romance, a journey from that idyllic sparkle on the surface of a blossoming love, down into the darker and sinister depths of shattered dreams:

Deep Water by Scarlett James. What becomes of the broken hearted? One of them gets revenge in this love story wrapped in a murder mystery. Exquisite and heartfelt, if you aren't as swept along by the tale as the heroine is by her misplaced love for one man, then you may want to consult your cardiologist.

Then, for a change of pace, a slice of historical fiction:

A Woman's Place by Susanne O'Leary. Except this, skilfully pieced together from letters unearthed from the author's family history, has the added dimension of not being entirely fiction. This is the story of two women; mother and daughter, who fought the conventions of their time and followed their hearts. A keenly observed and well researched female perspective on its period, this is told with a great deal of emotion as well as skill.

And then if you prefer something a little more up to date and with the bodices well and truly ripped:

Servicing The Pole by Lauri Shaw. "They only think they see us naked" it says in the book. Portrait of a New York stripper – a battle-worn misfit slogging her way through addiction, prostitution, and the city’s roughest clubs. Forget going to a strip club, this is like you are actually there - except this is told from the viewpoint you and I don't get to see. A brilliant journey into another world that has, at the same time, everything and nothing to do with fantasy.

And so concludes our foray into the realm of some outstanding reads. What's most outstanding of all is their publication. That is, their publication has yet to happen, is long overdue. So do hop over to authonomy and lend some of these books your attention and, if you like what you read, your vote. Because Harper Collins and a lot of other publishers besides need to see these books, so that the book stores and then the rest of us can get to see them too. The way nature intended. In print.

Happy reading.

Prefect Reads: Chick-Lit

Here we are again with more recommended reads from authonomy, Harper Collins' website that's dedicated to finding all the fresh new talent out there. The good news so far is that, whatever their dedication to the task, I've certainly found some myself.

And although before I'd even heard of authonomy my reading tastes were nicely varied, one of the aspects I've commented on has been the broadening of my reading horizons. Now I'm not afraid to say that I have *sampled* some chick-lit before, but to be honest found that not much of it was any good. The following are a few examples to be found on the site that not only struck me as far better than the little I'd sampled previously, but they were good enough to cast off that rather confining chick-lit label. You can still see why they are aimed at that section of the readership, but to say their appeal was limited to a single gender would be like saying sci-fi was only for aliens.

These are good reads, period. And between them offer a great deal of variety across their genre.

Coffee At Kowalskis by Miranda Dickinson

Warm, funny, at least as friendly as Central Perk, this was so good it promoted Kowalskis to my favourite cafe, even though the one I normally visit is non-fictional. Rosie is happy at Kowalski's florists in New York - until her past catches up with her. Romantic comedy with a cast of memorable characters. Authoress, Miranda, is also a talented singer/songwriter, so I for one will be buying her album as well as her book when they are released. Check out her song for yourselves, maybe listen while you read.

Carry Me Away by Robb Grindstaff

This was such an emotional and heartfelt journey, I honestly had trouble reading it the first time I visited it, because of the emotional day I was having. But it's a rich and moving story and much more substantial than it's chosen chick-lit label might have you believe. A teenage girl believes she will die before she has a chance to grow up. Stunningly good, but read with tissues at the ready.

Don't Forget Your Lucky Pants by Katrina Twitchett

If you enjoyed Bridget Jones, this is better. If you, like me, never read Bridget Jones and couldn't see what all the fuss surrounding the movies was about, this is - rather obviously - infinitely better. Armed with integrity, wit and a pair of lucky pants, Molly battles bravely through her hilarious teenage existence. Then her mother dies. Life seems impossible. Very very funny, but also with a lot of heart. These pants carry both the Young Adult and the chick-lit label, I am neither and I loved it. One size fits all, I guess, with these pants.

Back tomorrow with more.

Happy reading!

Prefect Reads: Humour

Continuing our daily series, pointing you to a selection of the best reads from authonomy, Harper Collins' site for stray authors and readers in search of something - don't take my word for it, see for yourselves - generally better than they can find on the bookstore shelves.

First up, one of my earlier discoveries on the site.

Punchline by Paul Fenton.

A cutting, brilliant black comedy that begins from a perspective that will strike a chord in the heart of every writer. And since everyone allegedly has at least one book inside them, we are all writers, so everyone stands to get something from this book. Publishing is a cut-throat business, but plagiarism can be murder. Brilliantly insightful, keenly barbed wit and a premise that, because we can so readily relate to its starting point, sweeps us along with it no matter where it spirals.

Secondly, if you're a Scot and you smoke, you'll love this next one. Equally if, like me, you're from somewhere else and you've never smoked, you'll probably love it just as much.

Tartare by M Trevelean.

Edinburgh, March 2006. The smoking ban begins across Scotland. Many smokers would kill to give up cigarettes. Edgar Ferrol will. Again, wonderfully black - black as a chain smoker's lung - and very funny, this isn't only for smokers, it's a great exploration of addictions, bad habits and the extremes to which we might go.

So I do thoroughly recommend you go give either or both of these a read and, if you happen to concur with my own take on them, give them your backing with even a temporary residency on your virtual authonomy bookshelf.

Back tomorrow with more recommendations for you.

Happy reading.

Prefect Reads: For Kids & Young Adults

For a writer I don't tend to blog an awful lot about writing. I would, but when it comes down to it what is there to say? I wrote this great new thing, submitted it, got rejected by this agent or that agent, even though most of them agreed it was really good. Same old story.

Same old stories, coincidentally, are what you will for the most part find on bookstore shelves these days. I've read some rubbish books in the past five years and they all had one thing in common: they were published.

The vast majority of books over on authonomy are unpublished. They are not all brilliant. Some are works in progress and the authors have posted them there in search of feedback and critiques, looking to hone and improve their works, and it is a very useful community for that sort of thing. There are also some real shining gems that really deserve to be published. I may have mentioned this before, but it's worth repeating: in the space of the two months I've been a member of the authonomy community, I've found more books on the site to excite and inspire than I've found in book stores in the past five years. Easy.

Something should be done about that.

Unfortunately we don't have the power to do a great deal about it, but one of the things we can do is draw attention to those books and get people reading them and backing them (basically, plonking them on their virtual bookshelves over at the site), so as to get them to the attention of the Harper Collins editors.

Today, I'm focusing on a range of kids'/Young Adult reads. Now this is not intended to be about my book, but in the light of a comment I received today, and with respect to publishing potential, I have to at least start this off with a mention for Kip Doodle (TM).

Today I was told:

by the way had about 8 kids in here last night and 8 phone calls from parents wanting to know where they can buy your book. So please add to your agent letter that there are children in glenrothes looking for your book.


That's 8 kids - and 8 parents - in one locale. And since I can't imagine that taste is in some way geographically limited, this is highly suggestive of a good market for Kip. It's fantastic to get good comments from fellow authors, but to know that kids love your kids' book is something special.

Now, talking of special, let's move on to the other kids'/YA reads I'm recommending this month. Between them, they're aimed at various age ranges, but I'd be very surprised if you didn't find something to appeal from among these fine choices.

The Voices Of Angels by Hannah Davis.

The current No.1 over there, and not without reason. A real achievement too for a YA book. But I know from experience that halfway through the month, even a No.1 book on authonomy still needs the votes to keep coming in. Lizzie Fisher is an ordinary girl with the most extraordinary gift. She sees when people are about to die. Handles this potentially tough subject with great sensitivity and a wonderful level of heartfelt fantasy.

Sydney Wakefield: Into The Far Away by Kimberly J Smith

Another high riser in the children's/YA genre, this is a terrific fantasy that manages what I thought was the impossible: breathing genuinely fresh new life into the Arthurian myth. Or rather, tapping into it to create something new altogether. A boy helps his favorite author's ghost write the final book in her popular series, unlocking the magic that will rescue King Arthur from Avalon. A core central idea that outdoes Harry Potter in the magical stakes, for my money, and very well-written. The sort of book that, to my mind, would inspire kids to write their own stories, which is always a great thing.

Haggis: An Unusual Name For A Cat by Sharon Hartle

Writing from animals' POVs is tricky and will no doubt put a lot of resolutely rational adults off, but kids will love it. Two brave cats and their adventures as they unmask a wicked plan for world domination by Tidal Gold a wicked organisation of ... goldfish.. Told with a gifted, light touch that really draws you into the world of its two feline adventurers.

Every Cat Has A Wish by Sally M Hughes

Oh my God, I know I'm a soft-hearted soul, but this made me cry. "A girl named Poppy once loved me as if I was the most precious cat in the world. I could never replace that." After his owner dies, a ginger cat called Alf sets out on a quest to find a new home. Another story told from a feline POV, and handled so wonderfully, emotional and deeply touching.

So there we have it. More great reads to come in other genres, but those will do for today. So please do go sample these reads and by all means disagree with me, but if it strikes you I'm a good judge of these at all, do give them your vote.

Enjoy the reading. You won't find these books in the shops. But let's hope you can before very long.

Good Books: Flying The Flag

If you've been looking in on this blog at all over the past month or so, you'll know about authonomy, Harper Collins' online community for authors that's supposed to help them cut through the slush pile and get onto that all-crucial Editor's Desk. And of course you'll know that Evil UnLtd(TM) made the cut and is awaiting editorial attention. Scary, exciting stuff.

What you may not fully appreciate, although I have touched upon this before, is that there are quite a selection of other books on the site greatly deserving of attention. Better books, in fact, than I've been able to find in the book stores over the past year or two. Books that have even broadened my reading horizons: it's fair to say I always had fairly wide tastes in reading, but I've managed to sample far more chick-lit since I've been reading on authonomy - and never once has it threatened my - admittedly sensitive - masculinity.

Of course the posted books are only there to be sampled and what really needs to change is that they need to be out there in those book stores, published and commercially available *instead* of a lot of those others that, despite not being as good as many books on authonomy, somehow seem to slip their way through the quality filter and find themselves with an ISBN and a discount sticker in WH Smith.

I know that several years back I had one children's fantasy book that a major publisher really felt was promising, and told me they would be happy to consider if I found an agent to represent it. Could I find an agent to represent that one? Could I heck as like. So that will be the next work of mine to be posted on authonomy, to see what the community thinks of it, perhaps discover what can be improved and perhaps get that one to the attention of those HC editors.

Meanwhile, I have already - as of last Saturday - posted another children's book of mine, Kip Doodle(TM) - hopefully first in a series, so if anyone would care to have a read of that one, please feel free to follow the link and lend your support if you like what you see. That's one of Kip's planes pictured above, by the way - one I made earlier :) Very easy to make: buy yourself a standard plane kit, generally a prop-driven classic (I chose a C47 Dakota, but you could just as easily go for a WWI bi-plane), paint the fuselage bright yellow, scuff it up a little if you like with touches of silver paint and then just make sure the decals spell out D00DLE with the RAF roundel as one of the zeros. Then take it out and photograph it to your heart's delight.

As an alternative project, you could try a spot of recommended reading. And as I said there's a lot more on authonomy than just my two samples. So here by way of offering a selection, these are SAF's Top Picks for November:

Punchline by Paul Fenton
Tartare by M Trevelean
Coffee At Kowalskis by Miranda Dickinson
A Woman's Place by Susanne O'Leary
The Voices Of Angels by Hannah Davis
Servicing The Pole by Lauri Shaw
Carry Me Away by Robb Grindstaff
Deep Water by Scarlett James
Sydney Wakefield: Into The Faraway by Kimberly J Smith
Haggis: An Unusual Name For A Cat by Sharon Hartle

For the record, I'd absolutely buy all of these if - no, when they are available. And frankly it was very tough limiting myself to those 10. So I'd hope that if you care to visit the site and vote for any of these books, Harper Collins may well take that as an indication of another potential buyer. Because I know these books are good. And all they need to know is that these books will sell.

Happy reading.

Evil Rules

Evil UnLtd(TM)made it to the all-important Top 5 over at authonomy on Friday night. The witching hour on what has now been renamed EVIL DAY. So huge huge thanks to everyone who supported it and now it's just a case of waiting to hear what Harper Collins have to say.

Either way the experience has confirmed that Evil UnLtd(TM) is a hot property. The responses it met with were on the whole AMAZING. Lots and lots of laughs *and* something like 97% approval from its readers, who will all rush out and buy it when it makes it to the book stores. And all in time for next year when sci-fi comedy will be back in the spotlight, courtesy of the sixth Hitch-Hikers book by Eoin Colfer and, I gather, a handful of Red Dwarf specials being made, plus a slight hiatus for the ever popular Doctor Who from our screens. There is a clear window there for the launch of some new, quality commercial sci-fi comedy. And not just a book, but a brand, a franchise, a hot - Evil - potato. :)

So my task has been made clear: find a publisher for this soon.

Many thanks again to all those who supported the book and any authors who are looking in might consider looking to authonomy as a very useful resource. Even setting aside the whole business of the charts and the rankings, this confirmed to me that I had something. And that's invaluable, because often when we look at what we've written ourselves, we might think it's good but we can never really be sure until someone else has had a look. And on authonomy there are a lot of someone elses, with really helpful support and critique to offer.

Think about it. Or just pop over and read some Evil UnLtd(TM). The sample chapters will be up there for another month or so as we await the Harper Collins verdict.

Oh and I've uploaded a children's fantasy adventure there too now, so feedback on that one would be very welcome too!

Evil Rising

A little while ago, I blogged about Authonomy, an online community for authors (and readers) developed by Harper Collins. And I posted a sample of my sci-fi comedy on there for the sake of feedback and to see if I stood any chance of making it to the Editors Desk and the attentions of the all-powerful Publishers.

Almost four weeks on and I'm very happy to say that the site has been a big hit with me and my book, Evil UnLtd (TM) has been a big hit with the site. There's still a ways to go - 18 days now before Harper Collins pick off the top 5 books for their inspection. Evil is currently at No.2 in the chart, but other books are on the rise all the while. So it's important I still promote, plug and promote some more. But what the exercise has achieved for me, even in this relatively short space of time, is invaluable. In terms of the comments and feedback (97%! positive thus far), suggested edits, the reading to be sampled and friends to be made, not to mention a much-needed morale boost and restored confidence in my writing and the notion that, yes, maybe I do have something here.

So if anyone fancies an (apparently) entertaining read, go on over and check it out - and of course give it your vote by promoting it to your bookshelf. You'll have to sign in as a member to comment on books and/or vote for them, but it's worthwhile whether you're a fellow author or just an avid reader. Not only do you get to sample upcoming talent, you get some say in which talents are upcoming.

Imagine the power! :)

Meanwhile, other books I'm currently recommending include: Space by Alexander McNabb, Punchline by Paul Fenton, Tartare by M Trevelean, Barry Beeswax and The Seven Suspects by K Howard Bell and Darkness by J Kavanagh. Better yet, just go check out my bookshelf on the site and take your pick. Tell your friends.

And while you're there, you can always look in on Evil UnLtd(TM) and help it take over the world. Today Authonomy, tomorrow Harper Collins. Well, by the end of the month, we hope.